Freedom is a Drop of Mercury

Freedom is a drop of mercury under our thumb. We press it for answers, we seek to contain it, and it eludes us. It is what is left after we discover everything it is not. What is not “not free.” It is longing for, a celebration within, an expression of … a life without sadness, impedance, discomfort, anxiety – and fear…fear. There is only One freedom, it’s always there (that brass ring) and it is seen most clearly by those who DON’T hold it. But let’s indulge.

Many believe freedom is a divine endowment, but first you must believe in God. Is this really true though? We run around with our individual totems of freedom, like pagans with idols. There is a singular higher authority that is evident in all humans… it discloses itself at opposite spectrums of being-ness, when “…something just doesn’t feel right,” and when “…something seems quintessentially perfect.”  It is a self-cognizance of pure and true freedom, and this self-knowledge precedes a belief in God.  Nourish the soul that believes in freedom.

For some, freedom began and ended with the vindication of a school bully; for others, liberation from our parents who restricted us “for our own good.” My freedom could be “spelled out” in the Bill of Rights, The Articles of the Constitution, the laws of Loudoun County, Virginia, the City of Ashburn, and my neighborhood home owners association. There is even an International Bill of Rights. And my freedom allows me to bear arms, while another’s does not. I am free to speak, another is free to express malignly, but another can say nothing under penalty of death. Freedom is Franklin Graham spitting vitriolic characterizations of others not of his religious ‘ilk.” Even our currency reads “In God we Trust,” but money is not free for anyone.  I don’t believe most humans know where to place freedom within our personal corpus of true inner convictions.

And like anything we value as providing us advantage (vice opportunity) we measure it; we decree it as if it’s our own, and treat it as a commodity to be dolled out and regulated by the powerful. Thus it is lusted for, not honored; craved, not sipped; we have a voracious appetite for every thing we believe freedom entitles us too. As a commodity, we “fear” it’s limited in supply; it carries weight, and becomes a standard of moral currency. In its misperception as a commodity with which everything is for trade, freedom enslaves humankind by exploiting our weakness in character and proclivity to accumulate things in excess.  Freedom is not a quantity.

Freedom is too often treated as a “thing,” when it is really “no-thing.” It is a state of doing, a state of being, a state of having and not having. What is fair, what is free, what is “right,” these are very different and often confused things. These are not about giving everyone the same amount of the same thing… it is stepping off of their necks and out of their way, and giving access to be what they already are. Freedom is not what’s in it for you. Freedom for you begins in how you choose to see and respect what is in it for others. Two things free from each other, are neither slave nor master.

Have you noticed, the greatest quotes on freedom don’t come from the wealthy, the free, the privileged … and certainly not me. It comes from those who are and who see themselves as “not free.”

I think of Martin Luther King, Ghandi, Malala Yousafzai, and that boy who stood before a military tank in Tiananmen Square. I think about those in this world who truly recognize freedom, and I ask them where it begins and ends.

Every great man was once Not Free.

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Love does not rule lovers from a throne

Love does not rule lovers from a throne.
It is far more humble, the sapling within the trunk.

Even the apple at the top of the tree knows better.
Its leaves wake and quiver and turn toward the morning light.

The higher a picker climbs, the more unsteady his ladder.
The more patient the ripening, the sweeter the fall of the apple.

Love not only reaches with extremities toward a beckoning sun,
but it is drawn from the dark earthbound roots that first knew the grace of light.

Relentless roots will split rock and lift high edifices
in their quest to find the nourishment for its flowering fruit and leaf.

And yet roots wither from thirsting leaves not lifted toward the sky
by limbs which absorb the relentless winds and steady the tree.

High up in the canopy where the colors deepen, fragrance releases and pollen drifts.
Low to the earth, in symbiosis, lovers carry waiting baskets and bellies filled with apples.

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The Keepsake Box

There’s a silver ring in a wooden box
Set in its bezel is an acorn I found
On a path I took
When you weren’t around
Half buried it hid
Just below the ground.

Placed over these is a secret note
Tied with a rose colored satin ribbon
From an enigmatic beauty
To whom I’d given
A match she lit to a candle I held
Which pooled in my palm
With my skin it meld.

There were other memories too,
Like a pyrite cube and a fragile shell
One beneath a lock of hair
A quiet clapper from a broken bell
And some unspent coins from the pacific rim
And other trinkets I’d thrown in.

Its lid unopened, surfaced dusted
The hinges loose and rusted
A lonely shrine for a thousand loves
Each before the other was never enough
But the box itself is your memory’s chest
Which leaves no wonder that
Filled with others, overflows with emptiness.

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Endless Unwrapping

I received such a peculiar combination of gifts.
What is not peculiar
about the diversity of unanticipated gifts
is that “everything” is peculiar. The giving, the receiving –
Oh, nothing can ever be so fully revealed
with all this endless wrapping and unwrapping;
and that continual revelation
is the true gift.

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Diminutive

imageI laid down on the sand, humbling myself before this majesty and felt diminutive in the foreground of such immense love shared between the Sun and Moon. The ocean tides ebbed and flowed, and mountains blew down, forests were razed, glaciers melted, and deserts were washed away. But I held on while the truth fell all over me.

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Quivering Hearts Be Still

Quivering hearts be still
Even a rising mountain is but a tear drop
slipping into the universe
Worlds are built anew
from sorrows like these.

Greater mysteries weep for you
than you for those,
Soothe these channels,
twisted saline braids
that carve our cheeks.

Your beloved has passed
dissolved through the veil
through which you saw her
to mix inextricably with
an ailing conscious

When you find within a lover what  you seek,
you recognize God within your own heart
you love away separation, distinction, and “otherness”
The framework of what is left is a ghost
What  taunts you,
protects  you.

 

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abandon our camera (#25wtT)

We cannot always capture beauty with a camera; perhaps it is best to simply BE the beauty we hope to expose through device and instrumentation.

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Labyrinth of Mirrors

My love is a besotted moth
flying deliriously in a labyrinth
of mirrored passages;
my Beloved is the glowing lantern
hidden within its center.

I am a vessel of senses and impulse;
Whenever I run with my love to Her flame,
I find only my own reflection –
for Her light is around every turn
and I burn in the unfound-flame desired.

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The Known and the Knowing

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Drawing by dear friend Arshia Qasim

I have spent a lifetime trusting men I’ve never personally come to know particularly well on this earthly plane and dimension, and they have never let me down. Rather, it is those I think I know all too well that let me down. But they are not to blame.

It is not in the “known,” but the “knowing.” Perhaps what I know so well in others, that came with so much concentration, becomes just a mirror of myself.  And hence, it is I who let myself down. So who applies the polishing cloth to whom?!

It is the process of knowing, in which we are closest to the essence of that which is known, which itself is its absolute divine conception before it manifested; for all things created must first come from its idea within the creator.  The path of knowledge implies a willful action of transcendence; what is known must pause at a place and time and becomes muddled with judgment, bias, and a general lack of exploration.  What is known sets the “what” aside, detaches it, and disconnects us from further engagement with it.  Seeking knowledge of the idea (knowing), perfects its creation (as a process) and its manifestation in its known state of “what-ness.”

I hear one thing with interested ears, but I listen to its other with only a compassionate heart.

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Lovers Devoured Page by Page

Your ebullience becomes the gilded leaf
to my aging pages,
a lingering touch along precious edges.
Each golden blade shows your mettle,
turned slowly into the flesh of a heart.
Every sliver, the mete for eyes and ears,
for the pain of your passing precedes your death
and each day you live, I die a year;
weeping Braille joyfully
for a blind man to read
off the tear pitted parchment
while he traces red arcs of wine glass ringlets,
until his fingers become dizzy.
This book is my cup filled to its lip,
every sip, a spill,
every word a taste
of my beloveds
salted kiss.

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