Goodbye Greetings

Goodbye…

Hindsight.

I’ve heard goodbye whispered softly to my ear, through such sweet lips
And I closed my eyes so I didn’t have to see her go…waiting, that such gentle a sound would not carry very far into my heart.
That something which meant so much, with such gravity, could just go away forever with a goodbye. Once touched by time, it is forever part of us…goodbye does not undo what has come before. Even harder are the goodbyes we have to say to someone; because we have to hear ourselves say it.

See you later – in my heart, my dreams, in the slight change in tack of my sail, the chip you made in the wine glass, whatever is left that differs – because you were once here. It says all the world is unfinished business.

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Passion

I believe that while such embers of the spirit might glow
with nothing more than the breath
of a sweetly whispered word,
they ignite with the song in the melodic voice
heard by many.

Those of true passion outpace consequence…
despite there being no faster way to fail,
or succeed.

And love – love is like a racehorse,
she doesn’t know whether she’s won or lost,
only the exhilaration of running race.

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Nothing is True

Nothing more humbling than watching stars cross,
again and again and again.
Such is the story of we romantic dreamers
who’d rather lie sleeping in peace
wrapped in the arms of lovers,
than wake to the possibility
that nothing,
but nothing, is true…

 

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Inexplicable Certainty

The thought keeps cycling in my mind
and I don’t know why.
I’ve sensed less than this of things I’ve known more.
The quiet inward search for facts fascinates me,
but even more so
that I cannot contain a smile and nostalgic sense of happiness
inspired by the landscape.

There are some mysteries in life
by which we are drawn out onto the precipice,
undaunted by where the edge might be…
or whether we’ll go over it.

And so I say,
I’d rather risk failure and sadness navigating the playful patterns of my own certainty,
than be happily swept away along the narrow path
of another’s illusion.

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The dissolution of this illusion

I’d rather risk failure and sadness navigating the promise of my own certainty, than be happily swept away by the illusion of hope that is little more than the certainty of another.

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Paths to Go By

I have embarked on many dubious endeavors; with the best intent, focused more on being open to the possibilities that unfold, than the deliberateness of the choices I make. These are sometimes not the easiest routes – and sometimes they are paths of least resistance. There are many ways to walk this path, many paths to take – but they will all take me to the same place. It’s not about which road we choose; and there’s still time to change the road you’re on…” (Led Zeppelin), it’s about knowing where it leads us. And that has uncertainty – not in our choice of approach, but in our convictions to live in accordance with that objective.

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NOW is about time!

Listen up – before you wipe that tear of happiness from your eye….THERE IS NO PAST TO RECONCILE IN ORDER FOR YOU TO MOVE FORWARD – OKAY!? THERE IS ONLY A NOW TO WHICH YOU MUST CONCEDE.

It’s amazing how often we relinquish the joy and anticipation and tears of appreciation for someone’s good fortune, especially our own, because we question, “why now? why not then? but what about this? but I — dot dot dot!” bla fuckin bla!” There IS PURE joy…but before you set you mind and precious energy on proving me wrong, here’s the deal, you dont even get the privilege of being MEDIOCRE at making that joy; how dare you. Joy is a gift (ah – doesn’t matter who it’s from) , be grateful for that split second of it…the past is just a bunch of “Joyful NOWs” that you should have clenched with all your heart rather than f’in them up. And so what if you did! But you keep throwing them away…so much so, that you have the audacity to say that all the past is gone and you’ve nothing left. Any time you choose my friends, any moment you choose, is your forever NOW. I suggest you stop wallowing on the razors edge of “yeh but” and “NO” get all over “Hell yeh” before “now” get’s here “later” than “sooner.” I have no time for later, less time for the past.

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What the hell happened

60 something degrees today… emphasis on “something.” Emphasis on “TODAY.” Spent a day giving gifts to strangers because of my unbridled desire to excite the world with whatever the hell excites me. I waste more time and money on this…7 billion people in the world and I hope to impact 1% of the 10 of them with my “unbridled-ness.” I’ve not seen many remarkable people – and when I do, it’s like looking at the remarkable Colorado River from 6000 feet up. untouchable without a lot of effort… I spoke to a waiters and a guy named George at a store…and sales people on phones…I spoke to not one friend today. I hate this internet shit…I really do. Maybe the cats will join me tonight.

More like an insect than any other advanced form of life…hidden, quiet in the dark, only coming out to do something “functional.” Hate the internet…I need two things, a big rock and someone to blame for its invention – so I can throw the rock, at them.

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Stars (3/16/05)

How many times have I looked up in the sky
To feel a tear roll back

I never saw you, but I knew you were there
Obscured by the fog of a bad day,
Engulfed by the sun
A sailors moon
Chasing Away clouds
Reflecting off the
Hearing nothing, never sounded so bad
Darkness, giving up, are you there
If so, leave me alone
I’ll find you, it’s better that way

Discovery
Falling star, beautiful as it burns up in the atmosphere, catching fire, burning out, maybe making it to earth, or just becoming part of the ether in the atmosphere.

What is left for me in that universe
Can I share
That last falling light, disappeared, plummeting into the ocean of your soul,
How many stars fill your heart
Was it gravity
Failure to fly
Or a homecoming for the those that have never been
Arranged, placed gently in the heavens by the angels
Shuffling with the music of God, solar winds

The waters rippled as if the
Throwing the silken blanket of
Catching the stars
The stars, reflecting in the dew drops on the grass

——————–stuff below –drafted from last night – —– need an extension, I have anthrax—

Suspended in their infinite depth
The light reaches us years after the flame ignites
And we smile and muse at these tardy dispatches
Odd, that only long after we are gone from this world
Is the moment of our acknowledgement reciprocated,
Even after they too are extinguished
So this comedy of mistimed love affair continues with the heavens
We, exchanging smiles with a face we know is gone from existence
The conundrum of returning to a sender who is no longer there.

And here by the fire
In this sandy pit
I listen to the waves run to the shore
Tattling tales from far out on the ocean
Who’s great arc bends the seawater over the distance
Around the horizon
Where whispers from distant shores are heard in our imagination
Lost at a sea,
The Transcontinental chasm of misshapen, asynchronous anecdotes

And you and I are mired in this mud ball
A human conglomerate
Spinning around one star
while so many others beckon from beyond
And out of nowhere, I love you
Illuminates, the rise and fall of the sun light
Like the end of an intermission

The sun sets, as the encore begins
The audience of stars rise, clapping not loudly
Yet their applause flickers in the distance
As my light plummets into the western ocean of you soul
Yours rises majestic in the east
And for a brief moment,
The runner from the dusk sun is connected
To the glow of dawn
The gap lessens and we don smiles
Not for the fathomless distances of interstellar space
But for our closest star,
a mere 93 million miles
We are as close as close can be

Like the bespeckled heavens
We make patterns, we forget them in the day,
until the darkness comes

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Indonesia (it took a while to grow on me)

I’ve only been here a very short while. Less than a day. I’m tired and nothing in particular appeals to me about Indonesia. Not even the name, it seems to be a term whose etymology is founded in an inability to remember and a treatment for diarrhea.

The entire city thus far, smells like a casserole of garbage riding thick on the humid night air – freshly hosed down pavement, reeking with diesel exhaust, raw sewage, old dishwater, and smoldering fish grilling for hours on filthy hibachi’s.

There is just a cacophony of vehicles and voices – there are as many 500 rupiah pieces as there are kids willing to work for one…and they are. Millions of dollars to be earned by billions of people.

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